Wednesday, February 25, 2015

50 Shades of Grey

There has been a lot of talk over the book/movie 50 Shades of Grey... This is my journey with Mr. Grey
Sometime back the first 50 Shades book came out. It was big but not as big as it is now. Friends suggested to me that I read the book. I ended up putting it off, I had better things to do than read it. Well the second book hits, again I get hit with a small wave of "you should read it", again I had better things to do. So third book hits, by this time the series was really starting to blow up, everyone and their grandmother was reading this book, I get flooded with "you need to read it"...

So one day I was browsing the book section of my local Goodwill, sitting there were 3 copies of the book. It seems like everyone wants me to read this bloody book even the freaking universe... FINE!!! I'll read the damn book already! I pick up one of the copies and add it to my basket. I get home and stick it at the bottom of my to read pile. I'll get to it eventually, I have better things to read first.

Well later that week one of my cats end up knocking over the pile, only book that did not end up on the floor is 50 Shades... *Sigh* I'll start the book once I finish the one I am currently reading. Next night one of my cats ends up pulling my book mark out of the book I was reading, losing my place. I find my place and start reading again, I set my book down for a minute, when I get back I find that one of the cats has knocked over my drink and basically killed my book...OK, I GET IT ALREADY!!

So I set my other book aside and pick up 50 Shades, I open to the first page and mentally shout at the universe "I'm reading it are you happy now!"

I get a few pages in...
Wow this Anastasia Steele sounds boring. 
"Mr. Grey will see you now." 
Wow this guy sounds annoying.
Made it part way through chapter 2 before giving up...

Some time passes, the book is freaking huge, there are rumors that they are thinking of turning it into a movie... Friends still suggesting I read it, "You haven't read it yet!! You really should read it, sure it starts out slow but it gets much better!!!"

So I sit down and try again...
Passes where I stopped last time.
Holy crap, this dude is a freaking stalker.
Got bored, gave up...

They are making the first book into a movie. It is coming out in February 2015... Friends still trying to get me to finish, "You STILL haven't read it!!! Go, read, now!"

So try number three...
Passes try number one stopping place.
Passes try number two stopping place.
Steele goes out for coffee
Steele calls
Does it ever freaking end, gives up a third time.

End of December rolls around. Friends wants me to go to the movie with them... "You STILL have yet to finish the first book! Read it now, what is wrong with you girl??"

Try number four (last try)
Passes try number one stopping place... Again.
Passes try number two stopping place...
Passes try number three stopping place
Makes out
Wants to have sex but contract (wtf?)
Another boring date
Hey here's my contract, sign it maybe?
Wanna see my toys?
*Madonna's Like a Virgin plays*
Grey fixes that pesky virginity problem
Gives up for the fourth time!

Movie hits theaters, friends want to go... I'm not interested. "Why not? It is a great book series and will be a very hot movie."

Lets see, where do I begin? From what I have managed to read I have gathered this much...
1. Grey is a stalker.
2. Grey is manipulative.
3. Grey had the potential to be an abuser.

Guy wants a girl to sign a contract that basically says that whatever they talk about or do she can not talk about to others... Sounds like some shady shit right there. While others are reading this and thinking that Grey sounds dreamy and Ana should hurry up and sign so she can jump in bed with him, I here reading this load of crap and mentally urging this chick to turn and run as fast as she can.

So the movie has been out for some time and at this point I have made no more tries to finish the first book. Honestly I don't think I ever will finish the series and I don't plan on seeing the movie at all. Personally what I did get to read of the series I found to be boring and basically trash.

There has been a couple of instances in which acquaintances whom have recommend the book to me have assumed that my inability to finish said book is due to the fact that I am a prude, to anyone who is currently reading this and assuming the same thing. I say this to you, if you could see my FFN, AFFN, AO3 reading history you would quickly disagree with the above statement.

I can not read this book as it seems poorly written. I highly disliked Twilight but honestly I would sooner try to read that trash again before 50 Shades and that says a lot.


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